A Painful Sacrfice

Written by: Arlesia McGowan
Story based of of Artwork: "Elephant Love" by Micheal Cano

          She had to do it. She knew she had to. She didn't have a choice. Her imagination was running wild with any possibility of her getting out of the situation. She could drop the gun and leave. She could run away and never come back to her tribe. The elephant stared at her, as if to be reading all of  her contemplative thoughts. This was the most difficult decision she would ever make. It determined her future and her tribes future. Haizup knew that this animal was a bad omen to her tribe but not to her. Lily had always been there for her ever since the day Haizup found her as a young, wounded, helpless calf. She couldn't seem to  get herself to to kill the elephant for a reason she couldn't seem to pinpoint.
        Her father's voice lingered in her head, as   she painfully remembered all of the lectures that he gave her and how this responsibility was the most coveted out of all the duties. Nevertheless, Haizup didn't understand it. Why her? As the princess of the tribe, she knew that if she chose to disobey the orders of her elders, she would be banned forever and even subjected to death. Time was running out and the sun was to go down in an hour. She had to decide fast, but she couldn't. So she fell on her knees and started sob. As the tears rolled freely down her rosy cheeks, she plucked the blades of green grass around her. Her world was in a huge blur.
      The worse part was that her precious Lily, her pride and her joy, was totally clueless as she satisfied herself with the lush grass that seemed to be never ending. Haizup was fascinated by every move of her baby. How far she had come, only to have to suffer like this? Lily didn't deserve this. In fact no animal deserved any type of treatment like this. Deep in her thoughts, Haizup stood up and began to walk away, feeling a sense of empowerment. She would just leave Lily there in the fields and hope that no one would come check to see if she had done her duty. However, every step she took, the more guilt she felt. Her mind screamed, "Go Back!", while her heart told her to move forward. She knew she was doing the right thing, but at the same time it was wrong. Then again, who would be there for her in the end, to help her along the way, her family or this animal that she had called her own?
      Disabling her thoughts from doing what she wanted, she knew what she was supposed to do, and she would do just that. She covered her eyes with her shawl to prevent any pain from preventing her to do the task that lay before her. Without hesitation, she pulled the gun from her satchel, aimed it in Lily's direction, and shot...

War: A decoy that destroys...

         War is war whether we like it or not but it is different for almost everyone. Actually, let me rephrase that, it IS different for everyone. There are similarities but the differences are really what matter, which is why I chose to compare Slaughterhouse-five the film Red Tails written by John Ridley, being that they are both within the same time frame ( World War II Era) . One theme that is contained in Slaughterhouse-five is the destructiveness of war, or how war affects a single soul verses an entire community. Although Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse-five has led a successful post-war life, when he gets to war his views are totally transformed. It is evident as he attends his swimming lessons at the YMCA to the speeches that he gave at the Lions Club all to his  imprisonment in Tralfamadore, as he walks in and out of the meat locker in Dresden where he seems to miraculously survive the fire raining from the sky in the city. As Billy Pilgrim is trying to get on with the normalcy of life, it is evident that he is trying to reach that spot of equilibrium as he puts the quote on his wall in Chapter 3, " Billy had a framed prayer on his office wall which expressed his method for keeping going, even though he was unenthusiastic about living."  The quote that is he referencing to inspires him to give him the strength to move on, reminding him that he cannot change the past. Though this seems like a minuscule part of the text, I thought this was worth mentioning being that even though Billy is living the high life, war never really leaves him. He is always haunted by a vivid image or memory that war has left him.
        Moreover, lets switch to Red Tails, a story of  the Tuskegee Airmen and their long, hard fought success in World War II. Focusing back to the destructiveness of war, the theme plays a different role in this film. The term destructive is first affiliated with the fact the Tuskegee airmen had to deal with racial profiling, or in other words they are NOT treated as highly  as the other Caucasian airmen were. Yes, Billy Pilgrim did deal with the horrors of war, and so does every soldier, but the Tuskegee  airmen had to deal with that, and more. I recall from the movie as they were all going to the bar to celebrate a victory, the German airmen start to call the airmen derogatory  names, specifically stating, " Go home (and the "n" word that I will not mention) but you get my drift. Also, I can never forget at the beginning of the movie, when the men were excited to be fighting in the war with everyone else, only to be surprised with the worse planes to fly in (old World War I planes to name a few) and  broken bunks. However, they make it work regardless of what they have to go through because fighting for their country was the most important to them. To relate with Billy's situation, the saddest part of the movie is when one of the main characters and leaders of the pack, Lightning is participating in his last battle and as he looks at his wife's picture, swearing to be with her, he is shot multiple times by one of the German air bombers. It was tragic to me, not only because of the graphic scenery but because that is how quickly war can end ones life, and how quickly it can destroy someone in on instant. Even though it is only a film, I thought it was demonstrated excellently as a reminder to everyone out there that destruction is real.
      So there you have it. It may seem brief in the details I mention, but destruction is destruction, there really isn't more to it. The Tuskegee airmen may have had to deal with being considered the lowest because of their skin color, but Billy Pilgrim had to deal with trying to bring himself back to reality, considering the fact that war was always in  the back of his mind. The glamour of war was never as it seemed and did the opposite of what pretty much every soldier thought it would do.  War destroys everyone in different ways and it's up to us to respect that.

Arlesia McGowan

It's All Up to You...

        This chapter brought back so many memories for me. It took me back to ninth grade when we learned about symbolic archetypes, to tenth grade, making charts about archetypes. Now here I am making this journal entry, reading a chapter on symbols, and so on. The reason why I keep saying archetypes? Because that's how I learned to identify symbols: archetypes provide the meaning of a symbol, a myth, an image, a charcter, or a simple theme. They especially come to great uses when it comes to literature which is interesting that Foster mentioned the river; I've studied it before. Not only do rivers mean the danger or safety but they also present new territory;it may represent human life or time passing as we follow the river from its source to its mouth. Rivers to me represent a journey that a person will pursue or is going on, or perhaps that person was already on his/her river? It really just depends.

        Caves? Caves are weird. Caves to me are always scary and dark, forboding, uninviting, all of the below . Of course, nothing good comes out of a cave, well unless it is ice crystals of course. Looking at my archetype/symbol chart (that I've had ever since sophmore year), it references caves/tunnels as a feminine force, the subconscious place where eveil hides. Feminine? Caves can be both genders and especially represent what we can be hiding.
         Moreover, lets set aside the whole definition of archetypes and symbols thing, and talk about one of my favorite stories, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. this story was not only symbolic, but there is one symbol that portrayed a meaning to me, and that's the glass castle that always brought up in the story. The castle to me represented the dreams that Jeanette's family would never get to, like a fantasy. Her father always promised that hew ould build that castle and that their family would live to prosperity, but they always lived in penury. Also, not only does that castle mean something to the family, but it is a dream for each member in the family; each person has their own castle they want to build. Jeanette's castle is to be a writer in New York , her sisiter's castle (if I am not mistaken), is to get into the school of her dreams, her dad's castle, is to get over his drinking addiction and build the castle for his family ,and her mother's castle is to become a well known artist. That's what it all seemed to me. In perspective, everyone has their own castle to build. My castle is to go to one of the colleges of my dreams, go to a top medical school, and pursus in my music background, and so on.
        So there you have it; Foster is right. Symbols  are really how you see them and it is up to YOU to determine what it would mean. I can't imagine the thousands of different imaginations interpreting how we see just one element or what it means. It's crazy but true and so worth it . Our imaginations give us hope that we will understand or relate to what the author is trying to tell us, or anything. Like I said, it's all based off of your perspective. What's your castle?


                                                                         <3, Arlesia :)

There is always more to the story (Behind the scenes)...

     
      So, I'm trying to recount all the dinner memories that really meant more than just eating and this is not just about dinner; this could just be a walk in the park or a hug I gave to my friend the other day. Who knows? There is always more to the story; I found it especially interesting when Foster expressed the fact that most of the time "a meal is not just a meal", because I have never really thought about diner in that instance. Usually when I come to eat with my friends, all I am thinking about is filling my ravenous stomach full of the mediocre lunch that I have to eat (might go starving without it). IF I delve deeper, including the people I choose to sit with and the place I sit with them , lots of times, that has made my lunch experiences  more enjoyable.
    Lets go behind the scenes, shall we? I first present to you my beautiful brown bag lunch filled with two pieces of golden fried chicken from Grandy's (not to mention one of their dinner rolls and a small tub of green beans). Now, I am very fickle about who I eat lunch around, especially when I am dealing with fried chicken, just because I love to eat it right (licking fingers and all) ; I desire to sit around someone who doesn't mind all this and perhaps enjoys the intake of fried chicken exactly how I do, just like the communion in the eating scene of the novel Tom Jones (1749), that Foster includes. There you have it; I can totally relate, although my intake does not have any sexual meaning to it. It is just merely the fact that I like to eat comfortably with people who feel the same was I do and I think my experience ties in with Foster's descriptions just fine.
     Moreover, it was significant when Foster presents the act of communion by saying " I'm with you, I like you, we form a communion together". I can't help to think of the group of friends who I sit with every single day and how it makes my experience more enjoyable. Not only this but just like the man in the story Cathedral (1981), I have made a few friends out of people I had dis liked being that the ones that were making my experience enjoyable were present. We all connect in those very moments of in-taking our food because in reality, little do we tend to realize is that everyone living creature on this planet has one similarity out of a few: eating. It seems like that is what keep us connected. I begin to think, " Why is there something like a table created? Well, reflecting on Foster's views on the communion experience, being able to sit next to someone and chew our chops out at the table, which is the main item that contributes to this moment, says a whole lot, don't you think?
     Therefore, when the word "communion" was mentioned in many ways, I couldn't help to think of Jesus  and his 12 disciples, the breaking of the bread, and the passing of the wine all before the day he was to die. This to me was a perfect example of Foster's take of "a communion, not of death, but of life" ( Joyce's meal) and also the factor of the plethora of ways communion is interpreted. Jesus didn't just have  a meal with anyone  the day before he died, but it was with the people that he loved the most that were there for him, that witnessed his every miracle he performed, and that could always claim that he was the Son of God. That in itself goes to show that it wasn't just a dinner or to be correct, The Passover. There were so many details incorporated with that moment and I feel like this example was a perfect representation of dinner being something more.
    In continuum, with all this being said, I will forevermore analyze my lunches and dinners in the way that Foster has helped me recognize; that might be tomorrow  or perhaps Thanksgiving, another dinner that means more that just eating, but the act of being Thankful for everything and the people you share your life with. Next time, I will be more aware of that.

Arlesia McGowan

Oh The Little Things in Life...( That we never realize)

        Nothing is ever as it seems- especially our journeys in life. We expect to go one way, only to find discoveries in a corner we turn or boulders in the hills that we climb. For better or for worse, quests happen whether we like it or not; it's just how the process of life goes.
        As a rising Senior (17 years of age), I have come to terms with realizing that life is a series of steps; I could totally relate to Kip ( Foster's made up "quester"), dealing with acne problems, maintaining my social status, learning how to drive, and so on. It was interesting to come upon the fact that Foster mentioned younger people approaching quests, when in my opinion, everyone, no matter what age, goes through some type of quest; the only difference is that it isn't so sporadic as one gets older. Moreover, memories start to flow when I think of that normal school day (or so I thought), when I'm in class, only to be hit by a series of events that tumble over in an hour and thirty minutes.
       Ready? Okay here goes: I hand my assignment in ( Holy Grail) only to figure out that it wasn't the right one (The Dangerous Road)perhaps? Of course, I am the princess. The teacher who tells me that the assignment is wrong would probably be the Dragon, according to literary terms. The cutest guy in my class would be James ( My Prince), and last but not least, I would like to present the evil knight as my "used to be" best friend, Mary, who is purposely stealing James from me. So there you have it; a quest can be something as simple as one class, or it can be a whole day-Well at least that's from my perspective.
       A quest is really what you make of it. Of course it is going to have all the parts contributed but it is up to you what to include, just like the young woman, Foster mentioned from the novel The Crying of Lot 49 ; how you get out of the situation is totally up to how the contributing factors react, which is why " questers" my age always seem so surprised about their lives every two seconds. The beauty of all this is that we never realize it, which reminds me of the oblivious main character of Catcher in the Rye , Holden Caufield. Holden is a 16 year old boy who initially plans to finish this prestigious boarding school , but gets side tracked as he eventually fails school, decides to leave and faces all these detours as he tries to come home. As he makes his quest home, he comes across old professors, girlfriends, friends, and even surprise visitors, all of whom he does not expect. They all turn him down and he doesn't even plan on going home, until he gets sick that is. I thought this similarity was interesting and significant when Foster mentions that quests never turn out like the protagonist thinks is will, which is how all our lives are.
      All in all, just like Holden Caufield, we all go through quests, especially surprising ones, but how you come out of it is what matters. As Foster says, if you can get through it "..the rest is easy". So why not go on your quest? Just let it happen.